Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
