First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
