thus making me awesome and them whores
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
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