thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
