I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I smell like Dick and happiness
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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