why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
