im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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