The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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