bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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