I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
