ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
