Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
