and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
