You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
we're so committed to being not committed
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize