hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
