im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
It's just like the Real World with babies
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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