I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
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