Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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