Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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