Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
