We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
