the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
