I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize