Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
