i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
