Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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