You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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