I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
