Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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