just come out here and I will go home with you...
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
