wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
