She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
