It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
