what if every blade of grass was a penis?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
