so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
