it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
