Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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