hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
