Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
