I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
he just fucked me for my cheese..
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
