How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
