you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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