didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
ugly people sure do ruin things
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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