We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Dick very happy bro
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
