i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
