I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
