She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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