there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
