Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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