Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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