Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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