I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
