fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
