i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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