Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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