piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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