My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
